Monday, September 28, 2009

Weekend Update

Blip #1: I'm back from Duck, NC! *quack quack* I'm in love with the Outer Banks. It was a fantastic time. Absolutely wonderful. 14 of us all together for something fun for the first time since, oh, 1987. Highlights of the week included: shopping at The Cotton Gin, lunch/beer at the Weeping Radish, endless games of pool, watching my brother in law go through 2 books of matches trying to light a pipe, kahlua milkshakes, the Cape Hatteras lighthouse, and playing with my adorable 2 year old cousin (my cousin's daughter). And, for what it's worth, the rest of the family thought the white polo/khakis idea was as lame as I did, so my cousin gave up on that. It was also very strange to share a beer with a cousin who, "just" 21 years earlier, you fed a bottle to. I'm old, lol. Family bonding at it's finest!

Blip #2: TEEEEBOWWW!!!!! Get better! Ohmygoodness, did my heart practically stop when he didn't get up after that hit! I hope he'll be better in 2 weeks in time for LSU, but if not, I hope he and the coaching/medical staff have the good sense to keep him out of the game. (And honestly, did they need to show every time a Gator barfed? We were trying to eat dinner, thanks ESPN)

Blip #3: TROOOOOY!!! Get better! Mr. Polamalu, my Steelers NEED you. I need you. My overall happiness depends on an effective Steel Curtain. And besides, unicorns and kittens cry when the Steelers lose to the Bengals and Bears.

Blip #4: Does anyone have any recipes for carambola/star fruit? My co-worker just brought me in a bunch from her tree. We're talking 2 dozen of these puppies.

And definitely not a "blip", but Friday marked one year since we lost mom. I'm definitely glad I decided to make the trip to NC so I'd be with Dad and Sis. It was a rough day, but it was a little easier because we had lots of great people and things around to distract us. The 3 of us took a beach walk that night (something mom loved to do when she was able) and talked a bit. Mainly, we just talked about how mom ("real" mom, before she was sick) would have loved the beachhouse and would have had umpteen comments about the Annapolis-branch of the family (if you can't tell from the portrait-drama, they're a little more uppity than we are). In some ways it seems like it's been eons since September 25, 2008. In other ways, it seems like it all just happened. I feel like I've made a lot of progress since then. I do feel generally happier than even a few months ago and I know that'd make mom happy. But sometimes I flash back to being in that hospital room, and I just can't get myself out. It's not even so much that I wish she was still here, because I know if she was she'd be miserable. I just want to talk to her. I don't even need to see her so much; it'd be enough if I could just call her. It's so strange to realize we've come to a point where I can't think, "at this time last year, mom and I were ____". It's hard to just suck up being sad sometimes, because I feel like I need to be strong and not drag my family down (they're sad enough without needing to worry about me...I know that's not how I should feel, but it is). I have very few friends who I feel truly comfortable talking to, and even then I feel like I can only dump on them so much, ya know? So that's why I blog. :) Cheap therapy!

Love ya mama (though remembering how you scoffed at/shunned the internet, I highly doubt you're reading blogs in heaven, heh)

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